I wonder if we idealize when we see only the facade, or fragments of the other, especially the ones that fit within the parameters of our fantasies.

The writing medium is so easily misunderstood, since the reader usually feels the story is written for him/her, and I agree with Yael Wolfe, we men tend to idealize/fantasize/romanticize about women/potential partners a lot.

I wonder if there’s the issue of to what degree does the lover/admirer wants to read in between the lines or is making an effort to solely fulfill his/her own fantasy.

Of course our knowledge of each other is fragmented (like all knowledge, of course, because who sees wholly?). But the question remains of to which point do we keep making an effort to stay in love with the fantasy/object instead of embracing the whole person, which is what we all want. To be embraced with our farts and all. Of course, we all want to smell the roses, but without embracing the unattractive we don’t embrace the whole.

I’m thinking to which point are we more attracted to people who embrace their whole, but we fail to see them as people who also have doubts and challenges, even when we look at them from the distance their lives look perfect.

And then the astute admirer needs to realize, if I’m looking from the distance, I’m not close, therefore what I think is intimacy, may be an illusion for as long as I am able to idealize the other.

Thank you, Elle again for listening to my ideas!

Pablo