I think this is more about not being loved than wanting to die.
Just in case, I’m a nurse and I’ve seen my fair share of incomplete suicides. Being that said, I can tell you the odds of the guy who lost his lower mandible secondary to the self inflicted gun shot wound to kiss again are minimal to none. He no longer has a proper mouth, last time before discharge was eating from a tube.

So there’s that, the fact you do something violent to try to end your life, may not end it. I have other examples in the same level. No eye, no half of skull, comatose, you name it.

I suffer from depression too. My exit strategy is to get myself to Mexico if I think about it too much. Or somewhere else other than where I am.

If you think about it, when we are thinking about ending our lives, we are hoping for a reset. If there’s nothing else, the reset is in the off mode, if there is something else, we are rolling the dice again. Going to Mexico (or the next nice town, whatever is closer) offers us the opportunity to do a soft reset and see how it feels to start again.

Finally, everything is change. Something not working out now, doesn’t mean is not going to work out tomorrow. Consider that.
Pablo