I do realize I’m not going out with you anytime soon, but: I’m a nurse.

Do you really think it’s a good idea to talk my date about enemas and suppositories?

Ok, maybe, who knows. I use lube by default.

But seriously, who wants to know about the advantages of different laxatives? How I won’t give someone lactulose unless they are already sitting in the toilet, the fountains of poop I encounter sometimes in my job and I wander where is all this coming from? Oh yes, lactulose!